Monday, May 25, 2009

Memorial Day/Night/Weekend/Life

My heel really, really itches right now. It's a fantastically weird feeling. Every time I push it against the back of my shoe to scratch it, it feels like I'm about to sneeze or have an orgasm.

Moving on, I got my ass kicked at work last night. Literally. Me and one server for a full restaurant. I am not exaggerating at all when I say, I think I made nearly 500 drinks. At least it felt like it. I was psyched that Spinal Tap was on in the background. Except I didn't get to pay attention to one second of it.

God, I LOVE that film. It rules. My parents and I used to religiously watch it when I was young. From the age of 8, I knew the song Lick My Lovepump.

Speaking of parents, apparently mine are actually conversing again. They actually had a conversation today, according to my mother. Shocking really. I hope they do start talking again. It still won't make me a champion of marriage.

Speaking of marriage, why the hell does it seem like I am CONSTANTLY having conversations with people about it? I don't start these tirades, believe me. And why do I have to keep repeating to people that I DON'T THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA? And why, every time I state my case for reasons I DON'T ever want to get married, does the opposing party always look at me like I'm a satanist or something? And why is the opposing party ALWAYS a man???

Leave me alone. I don't want to talk about it anymore. Stop trying to convince me otherwise.

Speaking of men, I should probably have sex soon. But I'm grossed out by most men I meet. Ughh...I wish I was gay.

Speaking of gay, in a different sense, I saw a man wearing white jeans pumping gas this morning (See statement above).

Speaking of this morning, I really need to stop coming home at ungodly hours. I end up looking and feeling like shit the next day.

Speaking of looking like shit, I find it hilarious that the less girly I've become, the bigger my boobs have gotten. The irony.

I'm also pretty pleased I got the word "boob" on this post more than once. Today will be a good day.

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